Monday, December 8, 2008

We're not all bad

It's almost the vacation season. I'm very tired right now, but I know that there are people who are much more tired than I am, and damn, that must suck. I was thinking about a lot of things today, because I was having a hard time concentrating on school work. I realized that I stress out a lot less now. I guess this semester was a much needed refresher. I only really stressed out once this semester, and it sort of paid off. Hopefully this next semester will be even better.

Many people are graduating, and some people are coming back. I'm starting to dream up my future, looking at where my next big move will be to. I'm shooting for the east coast, New York maybe, or even better would be in Europe somewhere. I'm just getting excited for change, even though it won't be coming for a year and a half. There is change coming just around the corner for my family though, long needed change. I'm sure this change will do all of us some good. I can't wait till summer to see how things will have changed since I post this.

For now, I bid you adieu.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Tomorrow never comes until it's too late.

This week has been an utter mess. I've realized that I have left a bit too much work to do during the week because I didn't do much of it over the weekend. Frankly, it's been frustrating. I've been trying to seriously understand topics which blow by me (and I'm assuming other's) in my thermo lectures. The book takes forever to tell you how things work, and it's so unnecessarily verbose that it can drive anyone crazy. I was trying to do the homework and getting so aggravated because I assumed that my results were way off, which I today found out they weren't, but too far too late. With all of this, and two other classes (which really aren't too bad), I have a lot on my mind. Then comes in the current affairs portion of life.

Props 4 and 8 are big topics which have a significant effect on my state of being, mostly prop 8 because it is clearly discriminatory. To believe someone is a sinner because of some trait they were born with is intolerable in today's society. This is analogous to racism and sexism. There is absolutely no viable reason why two people shouldn't have the same rights as others just because of their sexual preference. It's not just about couples being "married and happy," but also because there are benefits that come with being a legally bound couple. It is no one's right to say anyone who is of age doesn't have the right to marry just because they are gay. Again, that's like saying a black person can't marry a white person, etc. Prop 4 is just more bureaucracy aimed at prohibiting abortion in America. Abortion is the sole choice of the woman who is receiving it and no one else's. To say that the girls parents have to be notified if she is underage is ludicrous. Those girls who have a healthy relationship with their parents will go to them for support, but those girls who can't go to their parents for fear of abuse or abandonment are the ones getting hurt by this prop. This not only puts teenage girls in danger of abuse, but also in danger of hurting themselves. The whole wire-hanger abortion saying isn't just a saying. If you've ever been scared shitless in high school, you do stupid things, and don't for one second a girl won't resort to this in the face of their parents knowing they are pregnant.

What bothers me most in today's society is religion. My problem begins with the simple fact that faith is the antithesis of reason. In old times when people didn't understand the way the world worked, they used religion to explain it. Since our advances in modern sciences of all disciplines, religion is unnecessary for a human civilization. It stagnates our development. People don't believe dinosaurs existed, and others believe they co-existed with humans. People think our universe is only some 4000 years old. We have evidence that contradicts these assumptions.

It's not just that there's science now and we need to move on that bugs me. It's the fact that religion is full of contradictions and bias and discrimination and unheard of teachings in modern society. The ones that stick out most in my mind are as follows:
  • In the Bible, god tells Abraham to sacrifice his only child Isaac on a mountain. Tell me who would do such a horrible thing? Oh wait, a woman drowned her three children in her bathtub because she said "God told me to do it."
  • God is apparently a jealous man. For anyone to believe that a deity greater than all civilization has such a petty vice is laughable. I have gotten over jealousy and so have millions of people on this earth. Why can't he?
  • All religions discriminate against other religions. When Christ comes back to earth, a 1000 year war shall be fought and those who do not believe in the "one true god" shall burn in hell for an eternity. Sunni Muslims kill Shiite Muslims. Everyone thinks their god is the right god and everyone else is going to suffer eternal damnation (except if your a Jew, then there is only heaven).
  • All religions come with a "profit" motive. The profit being access to heaven. Instead of being a morally good person and having ethics to guide you through life just because it's the right thing to do, religious people do these things because they believe that this grants them VIP access to a great afterlife. If you do what you're told by god, you'll get in. The ten commandments are pretty outdated if you look at them. The few that still apply are killing, and stealing. Adultery doesn't count anymore because we have such thing as divorce, and frankly, no one demonizes adulterers anymore.
  • All religions use fear tactics. Again, if you don't do the right things in life, you'll burn forever.
  • The religious establishments made by man, make religious decrees which their believers are to follow. Catholics are the best example for this one. If you sin, you have to say a certain number of "hail mary's," you must eat the body of christ and drink the blood of christ. Muslims can not eat during the daytime during Ramadan, or eat pork ever. Mormons can't put any drugs (alcohol, caffeine) into their bodies. etc. We are an advances species. We understand how things work. We know what is good and bad for us. We don't need these silly rules to live by.
  • Religious establishments incite violence into religion. Most religions are non-violent in nature. Jesus was a pacifist. He preached turning your cheek, loving your enemy. Emperor Constantine said that Jesus came to him telling him to put the cross on his army's weapons and armor and that he would help Constantine win in battle. Why would the biggest pacifist ever try and help someone kill hundreds if not thousands of people, and why would he want the symbol of his brutal murder to be the symbol which he is remembered by? Jihad doesn't mean a war with other people, but a spiritual battle with oneself.

I wrote all of this because I wanted to put it out there. I am not happy or comfortable with people in power being men and women of faith. Just today I read that a man in Afghanistan was charged with twenty years in prison for blasphemy. I don't like the fact that our country strives to be a "Christian" nation. I am not comfortable with countries who don't separate church and state. The people who are in charge, who believe in a magical being who is all powerful, are the ones who hold the keys to nuclear weapons along with many many other deadly tools. I am angry that people who cannot tell the difference between reason and faith are in charge. Everyone thinks the year 2012 is going to be the end of the world. I'm afraid one of these leaders are going to make sure it is.

People say there are good things about religion, and I believe that to be true, but as a whole, I think religion stagnates the advancement of mankind. Science evolves, intelligence evolves, history evolves, religion does not unless construed by man.

Monday, September 29, 2008


I just got in my bike knickers. I'm super excited. They feel great. Let's see how they stand up to the rain.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Thursday, September 11, 2008


It's been three weeks since it started. Scholastic input has brought upon many, including, a purposeful output. What was lost and missing has been reinvigorated. This time the accomplishments shall grow two-fold. From here on out, it is the journey to the end of the night.

We ask each other, "What happened?" It's the luggage you carry with you that keeps you going; Heavy and ill balanced, uncomfortable and awkward. It makes you fall down the stairs when you're packing it, it beats you up as you lift with your back and carry it alone for days, months even, then finally, you find those who want to help, who give you a hand, who give you a cart to place it on, and give you a place to take your mind off of it.

You carry your baggage with you always, how you carry it is what you decide.

I'm keeping my word to the contract. I'm staying home on the weekdays. I'm sleeping early and waking up early. I'm studying at school between classes. I'm studying on the weekends for more than what's nominal. I'm finishing my homework well before it's due. I'm studying French at least an hour every other day, if not every day.

This all translates into purpose. Once again, I am fulfilled with purpose. No more am I going to vegetate. The ball is rolling, and I'm the one kicking it up and over the mountain.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Plan B

Lately nothing has been feeling right. Everything is making me feel odd and out of place. Something needs to change. I'm going to be going back up north soon so maybe I'll start feeling better. I feel like my life just hit a big roadblock. The time has come for me to step up my game and get my life started. I rushed through life trying to grow up faster, and I just stopped. Now that I've calmed down, my mind has filled with cynisism and my heart with anger. Everyday at home is a fight to keep my head up and everyday outside is like a wierd dream. I keep thinking that time is running out and I'm just sitting here wasting what little time I have. Apathy keeps me from reading and just generally being productive.

I've lost alot in the past year. What I've gained from it is the life plan not including the start of my own family. I've gained a nephew and lost all desire to have my own children. I've gained dissent and lost hope for humanity. I've grown disgusted with the perversions of morality and the general absurdity that people accept. It deeply saddens me how moronic people are because it's not their fault, but the fault of the people making the rules and creating the systems our lives revolve around.

Loss of love lead to loss of hope and thus thoughts were lead into despair. I have a goal to accomplish, but not for myself.

Thursday, May 29, 2008