What a stupid slogan.

There's forty five minutes left until the beginning of my last final. I haven't studied for it, I don't expect a good grade on the final, and I don't expect to pass the class. I'll most likely leave half way through the final, with less than half of the questions finished, and go drink this semester's memory away. Upon review and much thought, I have come to the conclusion that this year has completely and utterly sucked fat dick. It started out misreably happy and homesick, then lead to heartbreak, a sense of hopelesness, and overall depression. The weather definately played a role in the beginning months of the year. Once the sun came out and the ground grew warmer, I began to feel a change for the better. I tried to finish off decent and I did last semester, and went home to work for a month in the summer; not much of a break. I came back to do summer school which consisted of a french 1 class and an american cultures english class. The french class was great times. Miguel and I met some great people in there, and had more than our share of fun times during that. English was a place for me to realize how easily I can stop caring about something. I stopped going halfway through and didn't bother passing it. I should've realized that was a sign.
This semester started of real well. I was ahead of the game, doing all of my homework on time, and studying regularly. That lasted maybe three weeks. When I fell behind, it was like getting kicked in the face off of the back of a truck on the freeway; I was done for. In a school of such high caliber, when you fuck up, you know it. It reminds you every single day that you suck and you are a failure. It's one of the worst feelings taking a midterm and having absolutely no idea how to do the problems. It feels ten times worse when that feeling is during a final. This semester has taken from me insight into my life. I have lost my goals, my admirations, my motivation, and they've all been replaced by dreams of cycling through cities and traveling to distant and foreign lands. I've lost the notion that I'm going to be a great scientist and make a name for myself. If anything, I couldn't give half a shit whether I'm known as a great nobel prize winner, or for being that guy who lets you sleep at his house and makes really good pancakes in the morning regardless of who you are. Actually, I don't care if I'm known period.
This year is coming to a close very quickly. The faster the better. Next year will be filled with jobs, new family, old and new friends, new places, and just good times. As long as school isn't a part of it.

Tunnel Road

Today Miguel took Edgar and I to the Tunnel Rd. path. It was thirteen miles. The first part was an uphill climb through traffic to a small spot where you can just rest your legs and look out to Oakland and SF. The second part is an eight mile trek through the Berkeley hills where you see amazing houses and better views every few stories of ascent. The final part of the path is a two mile downhill ride that feels like a race. Julian told me he hit 50mph going down it once.
I had to stop twice before the first rest stop and when I made it I felt like my lungs were going to collapse and the were being torn apart from the inside. After about twenty minutes of resting, we kept going. I stopped maybe three-four times during the second part. One stop I collapsed to my knees and just let the snot and spit bleed out of my face. Once we got to the top of the path, the view was amazing. You could see everything. Although it was cold the whole trip, it was a clear and beautiful day. Finally, there was some downhill, then a little bit of uphill to the cross, then there was Claremont. This was like the decent of a roller coaster. It started out good; Miguel was out front, Edgar in the middle, then me. Miguel just sped off and Edgar tried to keep up and took the second turn faster than he could handle, and ate it. So I stopped and helped patch him up. From then on, we went down slower and caught up with Migs. Even with that the ride down was enough to make me want to do that again. After all the pain and suffering of the climb, the decent was enough to give me enough happiness for the rest of the night.